This is for males and females, so I'm not taking a definite side regarding gender. I feel that there is no justified reason to "Cheat" on your lover, spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend or whatever because cheating is cheating and there's no way around it. If anyone disagrees with me and feels that cheating is justified and okay, please don't hesitate to comment this post so we can have a nice discussion.
In my opinion, I feel that cheating is cheating and it can't be defined otherwise. If you cheat on a final exam, and get caught, can you say that it wasn't cheating? If you cheat on an exam and don't get caught, is it still cheating? You're doing the same action, but with different results. In this case, it's cheating, because you're focusing on someone's else paper instead of your own to gain personal benefit from it. This situation is similar to the situation of relationships. If you're sleeping around with someone else instead of your own spouse or better-half, that's for your own personal gain and it's cheating, no other way to say it.
My definition of "cheating" course is: "the sole attempt to trick one's spouse or lover into believing that one is faithful enough to receive their lover's trust by illustrating that they can be "faithful", although they've contradicted themselves by cheating".
If one feels that they lost that "special connection" or just doesn't love the person they're with, I would rather tell the person how I feel and separate from them than just living with them and showing no affection as if you're complete strangers living together. Now if there are children involved, that's a different story because children deserve to have both of their parents when growing up, however children can sense negativity in the atmosphere and if you and your lover can't settle your differences while living together, it can effect the children as well. In that situation, either the lovers need to put their differences aside for the kids or just separate to keep their kids from that negative atmosphere.
Many people also tend to use or try to find loop holes when referring to cheating or something of that nature. I often hear people say some things like this:
"It's not cheating if you don't get caught" - what the hell is it then? Of course that's cheating. If you go to a store and steal a big screen TV and if you don't get caught, it's still illegal regardless because there are laws that make that action illegal. Although there aren't laws regarding relationships, there are laws regarding marriage and can result in a breach of contract if one or the other spouse cheats on the other. If you cheat on your spouse and do not get caught, it's still cheating regardless. If you weren't ready to commit to a relationship, then why in the world would you be in one in the first place?
"It's not cheating if your lover does it to you first" - I'm going be a little more understandable here, but it's still cheating on both parts. First of all, if it was me, I would have rather called off the relationship for one because if they cared about me enough and was faithful enough in the first place, then we wouldn't be having this conversation about cheating now would we? Otherwise, they would have stayed committed and never cheated in the first place and for the person who goes and cheat after their lover has cheated, it's still cheating because you're still in a "RELATIONSHIP" = commitment with that person.
"I wasn't getting "any pleasure" from him or her, so I had to find it else where" - I'm a little more understanding here, but if you felt that way, you should have brought it to their attention because the fact of the matter is, you still were in a "committed" or whatever relationship when that happened and although I understand where somebody would come from on this one, it's still cheating regardless of the situation.
So, there you have it people, that's just a brief thought of what I thought cheating was and how I felt about it, I could have written an entire sermon on this, but again, it's only an opinion, so don't get all bent out of shape if u didn't agree with anything I said because it's only an opinion.
If anyone likes this and agrees with me about this, comment on it and let me know what u think about it too!!!
Like I said earlier, if anyone disagrees with me and feels that cheating is justified and okay, please don't hesitate to comment this note so we can talk about the situation.
Thank you for reading.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
“Nice Guys Finish Last?” Real or an “Excuse” Statement?
I used to believe the statement that “Nice Guys Finish Last” when pertaining to relationships and dating; NOT ANYMORE!!! Now, I believe that “Nice Guys” only finish last because they have ALLOWED themselves to finish last. Once or twice a week, I hear some guy(s) always saying, “yeah, we nice guys finish last. Women play too many games with men to a point where the man doesn’t know if the woman is serious or not because they want to use men“. Sounds familiar? I’m sure it does.
Now, I’m going to give some input on what I think about this “Nice Guys Finish Last” statement and everything I’m saying is only my opinion. I am not bringing down any “nice guys” out there, but again, this is only opinion based:
I think the “Nice guys finish last” statement should become the males’ national anthem because it is thrown around entirely too much. I agree that there are some women who play games with men, but on the other hand, there are some men who play games with women as well. There’s always two sides to a story people. Some men will also tell women what they wanna hear to get what they want, not just women alone. It is a complete fabrication for anyone to say that all women or all men play games because it is impossible to have a relationship with every person in the world, so no one can say that all men or all women are that way.
It’s not the fact that females do not like nice guys because they like to be around nice guys but on occasions, some of them are not really “attracted” to some “nice guys” because there’s a such thing as being “too nice”.
Before anyone jumps out of their chair, I will explain what I mean by being “too nice”. Example(s) of being too nice would be for instance: a male going on dates and then trying to buy her the most expensive gift(s) and dinner(s) on each date, which can be a huge turnoff for a lot of women, especially on the first date, calling/texting her every 10 minutes of the day and having a fit if she doesn’t txt back, being around her 24/7 (figure of speech) not giving her any breathing room or space, giving way too many compliments on her looks. These are just a few things to name. Most, if not all females just want to be treated like regular human beings, not objects or trophy prizes.
In addition, there are some “nice guys” who lack the confidence that women are attracted to because females are attracted to confident guys. Most of these guys out there who other people categorize as “jerks” or “dogs” that have girlfriend(s) are the ones who don’t care about what people think of them and most of them, although arrogant and cocky mostly, are very confident. They don’t shower women with expensive gifts every day and they won’t have a heart attack if the woman doesn’t text or call them back the same day or cancel her plans with them. Some nice guys are looked upon as being “needy”, clingy, “submissive”, and as pushovers while also being looked upon as needing the females approval on everything they do. And they practically do “EVERYTHING” the woman wants him to do as if the guy is too afraid to take an initiative to do anything, which also looks as if the guy is just that desperate to be with a female. Most females want a man who they can RESPECT, not a man who they can control as if she were his mother.
I’m not saying it’s wrong to be nice, but some guys overdo the nice guy role by a thousand miles. There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman and there is a difference between a gentleman and a nice guy. A gentleman is one who is confident and courteous & do things like hold and open doors, pull out chairs, etc and who has a set of values and beliefs and who is RESPECTFUL. A nice guy is someone who can do some of these things, but still gets walked over because of being too needy or clingy and lacking self-confidence. There is nothing more of a turn OFF to most women than a man who lacks self-confidence; a man who is submissive and weak emotionally, and looks for the woman to control everything and needs her approval on everything.
I know it may not seem like it at times, but surprisingly there are a lot of females who really don’t care as much about a guy’s looks, height, clothes they wear, the car they drive, or how rich they are, etc, as much as males think they do. Yeah sure, they don’t want someone who looks like a slob or who only showers once a month, but can you blame them? It took me years to realize that, but if you are confident and you “be yourself” and not pretend to be someone else you’re not and using these whack pick up lines that NEVER WORK, women will pick up on that and females will be attracted to that. Yeah sure, you’re not going to attract all females and that’s common because you can’t always determine what a female wants based on the choices of a another female. Not all females are the same and they do NOT all think and feel the same way.
Another curveball I will throw out is the fact that most if not all women like a challenge and they like to be challenged by men and for the most part, a lot of “nice guys” simply cannot provide that challenge they are looking for and this is another reason why some females are not attracted to “nice guys”.
Men also have to understand that women and men think completely different. They do not think in the same way. Typically, most men tend to make decisions logically while most women tend to base their decisions on emotions/feelings, however, as time goes along, this psychological theory of men and women seems to be fading each day. In regarding attraction, females and even some men for that matter simply cannot control whom they are attracted to, no matter how hard they try.
Now, I’m sure a lot of people are ready to jump out of their windows but again, this is only opinion based and I’m always open to expressing opinion based topics.
Now, I’m going to give some input on what I think about this “Nice Guys Finish Last” statement and everything I’m saying is only my opinion. I am not bringing down any “nice guys” out there, but again, this is only opinion based:
I think the “Nice guys finish last” statement should become the males’ national anthem because it is thrown around entirely too much. I agree that there are some women who play games with men, but on the other hand, there are some men who play games with women as well. There’s always two sides to a story people. Some men will also tell women what they wanna hear to get what they want, not just women alone. It is a complete fabrication for anyone to say that all women or all men play games because it is impossible to have a relationship with every person in the world, so no one can say that all men or all women are that way.
It’s not the fact that females do not like nice guys because they like to be around nice guys but on occasions, some of them are not really “attracted” to some “nice guys” because there’s a such thing as being “too nice”.
Before anyone jumps out of their chair, I will explain what I mean by being “too nice”. Example(s) of being too nice would be for instance: a male going on dates and then trying to buy her the most expensive gift(s) and dinner(s) on each date, which can be a huge turnoff for a lot of women, especially on the first date, calling/texting her every 10 minutes of the day and having a fit if she doesn’t txt back, being around her 24/7 (figure of speech) not giving her any breathing room or space, giving way too many compliments on her looks. These are just a few things to name. Most, if not all females just want to be treated like regular human beings, not objects or trophy prizes.
In addition, there are some “nice guys” who lack the confidence that women are attracted to because females are attracted to confident guys. Most of these guys out there who other people categorize as “jerks” or “dogs” that have girlfriend(s) are the ones who don’t care about what people think of them and most of them, although arrogant and cocky mostly, are very confident. They don’t shower women with expensive gifts every day and they won’t have a heart attack if the woman doesn’t text or call them back the same day or cancel her plans with them. Some nice guys are looked upon as being “needy”, clingy, “submissive”, and as pushovers while also being looked upon as needing the females approval on everything they do. And they practically do “EVERYTHING” the woman wants him to do as if the guy is too afraid to take an initiative to do anything, which also looks as if the guy is just that desperate to be with a female. Most females want a man who they can RESPECT, not a man who they can control as if she were his mother.
I’m not saying it’s wrong to be nice, but some guys overdo the nice guy role by a thousand miles. There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman and there is a difference between a gentleman and a nice guy. A gentleman is one who is confident and courteous & do things like hold and open doors, pull out chairs, etc and who has a set of values and beliefs and who is RESPECTFUL. A nice guy is someone who can do some of these things, but still gets walked over because of being too needy or clingy and lacking self-confidence. There is nothing more of a turn OFF to most women than a man who lacks self-confidence; a man who is submissive and weak emotionally, and looks for the woman to control everything and needs her approval on everything.
I know it may not seem like it at times, but surprisingly there are a lot of females who really don’t care as much about a guy’s looks, height, clothes they wear, the car they drive, or how rich they are, etc, as much as males think they do. Yeah sure, they don’t want someone who looks like a slob or who only showers once a month, but can you blame them? It took me years to realize that, but if you are confident and you “be yourself” and not pretend to be someone else you’re not and using these whack pick up lines that NEVER WORK, women will pick up on that and females will be attracted to that. Yeah sure, you’re not going to attract all females and that’s common because you can’t always determine what a female wants based on the choices of a another female. Not all females are the same and they do NOT all think and feel the same way.
Another curveball I will throw out is the fact that most if not all women like a challenge and they like to be challenged by men and for the most part, a lot of “nice guys” simply cannot provide that challenge they are looking for and this is another reason why some females are not attracted to “nice guys”.
Men also have to understand that women and men think completely different. They do not think in the same way. Typically, most men tend to make decisions logically while most women tend to base their decisions on emotions/feelings, however, as time goes along, this psychological theory of men and women seems to be fading each day. In regarding attraction, females and even some men for that matter simply cannot control whom they are attracted to, no matter how hard they try.
Now, I’m sure a lot of people are ready to jump out of their windows but again, this is only opinion based and I’m always open to expressing opinion based topics.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)